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Meeting New People: Why Appearance Matters
Our overall appearance is what we present to the world, but we see each other first in bits and pieces. When we meet a new person we look at the mouth first, specifically at the teeth. Why? Because the teeth can hurt us, they bite! This is an early protective mechanism, developed long before we could speak, to identify friend from foe. Today we smile to assure the person we meet that we are friendly, our teeth are not in a biting position. (You can laugh with your mouth open, but try to smile with your mouth open, it looks ridiculous.)
We have avoided adding flimsy points on pheromone fragrance, as we find that the addition of such points have no effect on pheromone fragrance.
She is sitting on a bench awaiting the 10:15 bus to arrive when she sees him approach from the opposite end of the street. There is just something about the way he carries himself. If she were asked to describe him using only one word, that one word would be: S-E-X-Y!!!!
You can gain the confidence that will get you where you want to go in your career and life. Build your confidence. Walk with a purpose to your step. Draw the attention you desire from the opposite sex with the best known aphrodisiac: confidence!
The attractive person gets the best job in most instances, gets the most attractive mate and usually makes the most money. Every woman I have known, including my wife, has a sense of insecurity about how she looks. No matter how beautiful she may be, the insecurity is there. I am now convinced that this is truly a genetic mechanism specific to women. While men surely are aware of the importance of appearance they are, as a group, less occupied with how they look than women. This may be a burden to women, but I believe God in the design of women, has given each woman a very special appeal, unique to her and to her alone. If women could sense this special trait and maximize it, perhaps then they would spend less time worrying about how other women look.
Lately, scientists are looking into the existence of human pheromones and its role in mate selection. There are many conflicting views in the realm of biology, chemistry, genetics, and psychology. Most scientists would assert that these do not exist, or if they do, do not play a role in sexual attraction between a man and a woman. But new researches such as that conducted by Swiss researchers from the University of Bern led by Klaus Wedekind are slowly making these scientists rethink their stand. Their experiment involved women sniffing the cotton shirts of different men during their ovulation period. It was found out that women prefer the smell of men's shirts that were genetically different, but also shared similarities with the women's genes. This, like in the case of insects and other mammals, was to ensure better and healthier characteristics for their future children. But researchers also cautioned that preference for a male odor is affected by:
Our society puts such an emphasis on physical beauty that it seems natural that the more fit and physically attractive a person the more confident they will be. Your sex appeal will increase with confidence and your confidence will increase the more attractive you are, and being in shape helps.
Next we look at the eyes to make sure the smile is real. A lower face smile is a fake smile. If the eyes do not light up with a smile, we are put on alert that perhaps this person is not hostile, but is not friendly either. After checking the eyes we look at the skin of the face, then the hair on the head and finally the rest of the body is given a quick once over. All this is done for two reasons. The first is for protection, and the second is for reproduction. We shall decide in a matter of second whether or not that person will be a sexual, or non-sexual partner purely from appearance sake. If you have already made a life long commitment to a mate and yet find the other person attractive, your higher brain center will say to you, "Back off, this is a non-mate". If you do not heed this instruction immediately you have set yourself up for trouble. But you already know that.
Does personality figure in sexual attraction? Yes, but so does your perception of a potential mate's personality. According to a research conducted by Klohnen, E.C., & S. Luo in 2003 on interpersonal attraction and personality, a person's sense of self-security and at least the person's perception of his/her partner were found to be strong determinants of attraction in hypothetical situations. What does this tell us? We prefer a certain personality type, which attracts you to a person. But aside from the actual personality of the person, which can only be verified through close interaction through time, it is your perception of your potential partner that attracts you to him/her, whether the person of your affection truly has that kind of personality or not. This could probably account for a statement commonly heard from men and women on their failed relationships: "I thought he/she was this kind of person."
The appeal of these qualities, so often equated with confidence, (strength, bravery, competence, and skill) hearkens back to the time of the cave man. It was only those cave men who showed great confidence, strength, bravery, competence, and skill against such great adversity, who won the affections of cave women. Confident cave women appealed to cave men because it signaled that she was also quite capable of surviving the harshness of the world they were living in at the time. This encouraged mating between cave men and women, allowing the continuing survival of the human species despite the heavy-perils to life that savage animals and environmental conditions presented for man at the time.
Our overall appearance is what we present to the world, but we see each other first in bits and pieces. When we meet a new person we look at the mouth first, specifically at the teeth. Why? Because the teeth can hurt us, they bite! This is an early protective mechanism, developed long before we could speak, to identify friend from foe. Today we smile to assure the person we meet that we are friendly, our teeth are not in a biting position. (You can laugh with your mouth open, but try to smile with your mouth open, it looks ridiculous.)
The attractive person gets the best job in most instances, gets the most attractive mate and usually makes the most money. Every woman I have known, including my wife, has a sense of insecurity about how she looks. No matter how beautiful she may be, the insecurity is there. I am now convinced that this is truly a genetic mechanism specific to women. While men surely are aware of the importance of appearance they are, as a group, less occupied with how they look than women. This may be a burden to women, but I believe God in the design of women, has given each woman a very special appeal, unique to her and to her alone. If women could sense this special trait and maximize it, perhaps then they would spend less time worrying about how other women look.
Confidence sends a message of strength, bravery, competence, and skill to others. These positive qualities tend to attract others to the confident person. People are more likely to look for the guidance of a confident person in times of trouble and crisis. This is because confident people are strongly believed to be more level-headed, able to think beyond emotions when problems or emergencies arise. Confident people tend to rise further in work careers and in other areas of life because their strong belief in themselves results in the trust of others, especially of those who can help them to further careers and social standings.
"Opposites attract" is a law of attraction, at least where electromagnetism is concerned. But are there laws about attraction between two people? "In a world that is full of strangers" as a line in a famous song of the 1980's goes, is there a clear set of rules that allows two people to fall for each other?
Today most of us live in comfortable homes, safely protected from the elements. None of us has ever had to face-down a lion in a battle for life and limb. Sexual relations are not just for the sole purpose of the continuance of the human species as it was back then. The steady growth of human populations throughout the world is testament to the fact that the human species is not in jeopardy of being lost. Still, we find confidence just as sexually-appealing today as those early cave men and women did.
We have avoided adding flimsy points on pheromone fragrance, as we find that the addition of such points have no effect on pheromone fragrance.
Is attraction a matter of chemistry? Maybe. According to scientists, the attraction between animals of the opposite sex is all about chemicals called pheromones. The effect of pheromones in behavior of insects is the most studied to date. It has been observed, at least in some experiments, that pheromones are responsible for communication among same species and colony of ants. The horrible odor released by skunks to ward off enemies is said to be a kind of pheromone. Some species of apes rub pheromone-containing urine on the feet of potential mates to attract them.
Scientists believe that animals (usually the females) such as insects and mammals send out these chemical signals to tell the male of their species that their genes are different from theirs. This gene diversity is important in producing offspring with better chances of survival. The perfume industry has capitalized on pheromones as a means to increase one's sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex. Animals such as the whale and the musk deer were hunted down for these chemicals.
Did you know that exercise can help boost your confidence levels? Have you ever noticed how the really fit guy in the gym confidently lifting large weights, always seems to have a crowd of gals close to him? Have you wished for that kind of appeal with the ladies? Or how about the woman that men just can not seem to take their eyes off of, out on the dance floor with her tight, toned body, confidently grooving to the music? Would you like to have what she has? You can have the confident and fit body that commands the attention of others, through exercise.
One Last Item: The knowledge gained by scientific research has opened new frontiers. I say frontiers because that is all they are. We are only at the beginning of great discoveries in our understanding of biological mechanisms. Our knowledge of biology, while awesome compare to 50 years ago, still is quite primitive. This is not said to downplay the significant discoveries that have been made, but to emphasize that the best is yet to come, every true scientist knows that quite well. Aging is tied to sexual activity in a complex way, more complex than we can enter into in this book. My goal is that you will have acquired the basis to appreciate the relationship between attractiveness and sexual activity, and how a longer happier life can result from maximizing both of these marvelous gifts of God.
He walks down the street with a purpose to his step, and people notice him. He is aware of this. He especially likes the looks he gets from the ladies.
The need for approval is the need for acceptance, for humans are not designed to live alone. To live alone, without daily human contact and without love, is a slow, destructive process except for a relatively few people who are solitary types. The need to be attractive is an inborn sexual mechanism that stays with us for life. As noted above, every animal has some sexually attractive feature, be it bright feathers or a lion's mane, it is always there. Humans have developed very subtle sexual attraction mechanisms, but our skin is one of the most important of all.
Confidence is sexy in both men and women. However, the amount of confidence that should be displayed and still considered to be sexy differs between the sexes. Some women have had the misfortune of being labeled cold or uptight for appearing too confident. Whereas the same amount of confidence, when shown by a man does not draw such harsh criticisms.
So how does attraction figure in relationships? You have probably heard that attraction is a prelude, or a factor towards a relationship. Most probably, at least in the beginning; but attraction alone cannot make a relationship work. It is that attraction that makes you notice a person from the opposite sex, but once you get to know the person more, attraction is just one consideration. Shared values, dreams, and passions become more significant in long-term relationships.
The need for approval is the need for acceptance, for humans are not designed to live alone. To live alone, without daily human contact and without love, is a slow, destructive process except for a relatively few people who are solitary types. The need to be attractive is an inborn sexual mechanism that stays with us for life. As noted above, every animal has some sexually attractive feature, be it bright feathers or a lion's mane, it is always there. Humans have developed very subtle sexual attraction mechanisms, but our skin is one of the most important of all.
One Last Item: The knowledge gained by scientific research has opened new frontiers. I say frontiers because that is all they are. We are only at the beginning of great discoveries in our understanding of biological mechanisms. Our knowledge of biology, while awesome compare to 50 years ago, still is quite primitive. This is not said to downplay the significant discoveries that have been made, but to emphasize that the best is yet to come, every true scientist knows that quite well. Aging is tied to sexual activity in a complex way, more complex than we can enter into in this book. My goal is that you will have acquired the basis to appreciate the relationship between attractiveness and sexual activity, and how a longer happier life can result from maximizing both of these marvelous gifts of God.
Probably not! There is wisdom in knowing yourself: who you are, your beliefs, values, and dreams. And do not pretend to be someone you are not. Fooling another person by making him/her think that you share the same values and beliefs is only going to cause you both disappointments. When you are healthy in all aspects, attractiveness becomes a consequence and not an end. As mentioned in the Klohnen and Luo's research, a person's sense of self-security matters, perhaps even beyond attraction. But remember: do these things for yourself and not for other people. Only then can you truly harness your attractiveness as a person.
Next we look at the eyes to make sure the smile is real. A lower face smile is a fake smile. If the eyes do not light up with a smile, we are put on alert that perhaps this person is not hostile, but is not friendly either. After checking the eyes we look at the skin of the face, then the hair on the head and finally the rest of the body is given a quick once over. All this is done for two reasons. The first is for protection, and the second is for reproduction. We shall decide in a matter of second whether or not that person will be a sexual, or non-sexual partner purely from appearance sake. If you have already made a life long commitment to a mate and yet find the other person attractive, your higher brain center will say to you, "Back off, this is a non-mate". If you do not heed this instruction immediately you have set yourself up for trouble. But you already know that.
- The women's ovulation period - The food that men eat - Perfumes and other scented body products - And lastly the use of contraceptive pills.
So should I stop trying to become attractive? More than trying to become physically attractive, work on all aspects of your health: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. Physical attraction is still a precursor. Remember, biology predisposes us to choose the partner with the healthiest genes. Where your emotions are concerned, just ask this to yourself: would you want to spend time with a person who feels insecure about him/herself?
So the next time you're at the gym, hold your head high, even if you're not feeling so confident about yourself, this simple gesture holds a lot of power and you can certainly fake it. The more confident you feel about yourself the sexier those around you will find you.
Monica Babcock
It is very much feasible that you may think differently about pheromone fragrance once you complete reading this abstract on pheromone fragrance. Keep speculating! |
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