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The Psychology of Physical Attraction 

Every creature on this planet gives off attraction signals. We are no exception. Some are blatant and some are unconscious. We are all born with the ability to physically attract others. Some of us have just cultivated this gift.


5) Spa days! And there is no rule claiming it has to be total detox so one or two glasses of wine are allowed as you get massaged, groomed and pampered to perfection!
 




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Well why not make these natural signals conscious? If there is someone who has caught your eye, instead of looking away meet his gaze and hold it. Give him a smile or nod your head at him in passing. Men are so used to being rejected that these small signs that you are open to his approach will be welcomed with open arms.

So, you have a thousand choices, each all easy to combine with a thousand others. How do you decide? Well, one way to keep everyone happy is have an evening where everyone gets together and makes suggestions. Obviously bride has final veto, that's a given, but it allows a free flow of ideas that people may not have come up with alone.

Worse still is the major decision: will you organize it or leave it to your maid of honor or group of friends? Both have their advantages. If you organize it, you will get exactly what you want but you also get all the associated stress. With someone else organizing it you have no direct stress except for the stress of the unknown!

I am here to tell you that you do not have to look like a supermodel to be the most beautiful, sexy and attention getting woman in the room. How many models have you heard of that have not only gotten their man but kept them? Not many. They have the look but haven't taken the time to enhance their other assets.

- jewelry placed in eye catching areas ( ex. a carefully hung necklace to bring his eyes to your cleavage) - the hair toss - playing with your hair

There are thousands of choices. Long weekends or just a night? Have the hen night plenty of time before the big day or just a few days? Big group or small and intimate?

7. Make Sex a Priority Relationships are the most important aspect of our lives and sex is a crucial component of your intimate relationship. Make time for lovemaking. Don't push it off. It should be one of the biggest priorities in your life. When sex is pushed aside desire and passion will dwindle. The more you engage in sex the more your desire will grow.

The key to knowing how and when to use your attraction signals lies in examining your societies rules ( ex. interoffice romance is usually a no no) and working within their parameters.

Much of life is governed by what we cannot see. Viruses are microscopic, as are chemicals that can get rid of the virus. The microscopic universe has more to do with how we behave and feel than we would like to usually believe. We like to think that we are independent creatures with free will.

4. Be Spontaneous and Adventurous Surprise your lover with something unusual and kinky. Yes Kinky! Be outrageous and adventurous. Show up at their work for lunch naked under your coat and flash them. Send them an invitation to a hotel for a hot night of sex. Role play one of your fantasies. Tell them you must have them at some unusual spot and take them passionately. Women, try not wearing your panties and bra and go through your daily activities. Not having a bra and panties on is very stimulating and will make you feel very sexy and erotic. Tell your partner that you aren't wearing any and you will drive them absolutely wild with the thought of it.

Bald Is Beautiful

Human pheromones and sexual attraction bring big business. You can buy human pheromones to add to your favorite perfume or cologne in order to help encourage a prospective mate. It is also thought that bald men emit more human pheromones and sexual attraction than hair covered men. That is an urban myth and has not been scientifically proven. However, would you turn down a date with Sean Connery? I do not think so.

9. Know Your Partner's Hot Zones Taking the time to learn what makes your lovers motor run is one of the most important ingredients for great sex. You can never know your lover too much. Pay attention to when and what your lover responds to and learn what they need. Store it in your mind and be sure to use it frequently. When your lover is pleasured and satisfied then they want to reciprocate and please you even more, and thus sexual satisfaction is heightened for both partners. When you know how to please your lover, their desire for you increases and they will want sex more often. Knowing your partner and making a point to please them is an act of love; it shows them they are important to you and that you care about their needs. You should know your lovers love buttons like the back of your hand.

5. Be Present in the Here and Now. Fully experience each touch, sensation, smell, movement, sound and taste while you are making love. Don't allow your mind to slip into thoughts about work, children or fixing dinner etc. Stay completely focused on your partner and your experience. Allow yourself to become totally immersed in the pleasurable sensations you are giving and receiving.

The truth is, we are often at the mercy of molecules that are millions of times smaller than ourselves. Why do we choose the mates we do, for example? It could be looks, it could be the phase of the moon, but big deciding factors are tiny scent cells called human pheromones. And sexual attraction just got more out of control than you at first thought.

There is nothing wrong with taking the tacky route; it provides fun preparing and getting ready. It also makes your fellow hens instantly recognizable over a crowded bar!

If you want to seduce men you must first be convinced that you are seductive. You must be absolutely convinced that you are the most beautiful woman out there. Now I can almost hear some of you saying," Yeah, right." Many of you probably believe that you must be a certain weight, height, etc to get the man of your dreams.

However, it can be expensive and occasionally the language barrier can put the odd hen party into tricky situations. Popular destinations include Prague, Spain, Italy and France. Dublin provides a compromise but is very expensive.

Pheromones in other animals were discovered in the 1970s. These pheromones were used in insecticide traps to lure males of the species hoping for a good time to their deaths. It was not until 1986, in Philadelphia, that two scientists, Dr Winnifred Cutler and Dr. George Preti were able to discover human pheromones and sexual attraction in the opposite sex that they can trigger. All of us unconsciously put these pheromones in the air when we are healthy or on the make. Human pheromones, and sexual attraction, lure mates together.

Classy themes include, black and white (or any color combo of your choice), dresses to impress (ball gowns and cocktail dresses), 1920's glam, masked ball or even (if done right!) a toga theme! These give less of a chance to be massively creative but they do also mean less embarrassment at the photos the next day!

2) A weekend break in a city in the UK allows you to do whatever tickles your fancy - spa treatments, clubbing, shopping or even an adventure weekend (for the more adventurous bride to be!) in reasonably familiar surroundings.

However, these weekends can work out more expensive than going abroad, particularly once food and drink expenses are factored in! Popular destinations include Edinburgh, York, Manchester and London.

If the hundreds of choices associated with the wedding weren't bad enough, then comes the problem of planning the hen night. How hard can it be? So you start looking around and realize how many more decisions you're going to have to make...

A 2006 study in Karolinska Institute in Sweden revealed that homosexuals respond differently than heterosexuals when exposed to the same human pheromones. Sexual attraction for lesbians for other women was aroused in their brain wave patterns and the same for gay men, who were attracted to mens pheromones.

Unfortunately the decisions don't stop there because there will always be the question of theme. From here comes a big choice, tacky or classy? Tacky themes include army theme, emergency services, Barbie, devils and angels, 60's/ 70's, doctors and nurses, beach party, school girls... the list goes on and on.

2. Be an Unselfish Lover Be a selfless lover (meaning your goal is your pure desire to give your partner the pleasure they desire.) Don't take each other for granted, which is easy to do if you have been together for a while and will kill your passion. Don't pleasure your lover according to what feels good for you, give them what you know they enjoy. Always tend to your partners needs as well as your own and you will be considered a good lover. Spend one lovemaking session devoted entirely to your lover. Make them feel special and cherished. Express your love and appreciation freely and frequently outside of the bedroom as well as inside the bedroom. Don't assume your lover knows how you feel. It needs to be verbalized. Say I love you or you are so beautiful, or you feel so good. Everyone wants to feel loved, valued and appreciated. Remember that what occurs outside the bedroom greatly impacts what will occur in the bed.

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There are things that you can do to be instantly more attractive to men. Some of these secrets involve the way you dress and apply your makeup, some involve the type of scent that you use and how you apply it and some involve more in depth seduction techniques and body language.

6. Know Your Own Body and Desires If you don't know what excites you and pleases you, then your lover can't either. Explore your own body and discover what you like and don't like. Find out what arouses you and makes you roar. Make love with yourself. You can really drive your lover wild by allowing them to watch you pleasure yourself.

Also, by getting everyone to bring their diary, you can choose a time convenient for everybody. Problem solved! And a few bottles of wine should really help to get those creative juices flowing. Enjoy!

On an unconscious biological level we are given hidden attractors like pheromones and subtle physiological changes, like dilated pupils, the swelling of your lower lip and for men more obvious changes. We are also hard wired to know how to flirt.

8. Pursue Your Lover with Unbridled Passion It is a great aphrodisiac for both female and male to see and feel desire and passion in their lover's eyes and actions. Let your lover know how deeply you want them. Tear their clothes off and take them passionately. Let them hear you delight in them. When making love, tell them how much you enjoy their body or how good they feel to you. Let loose with total abandon.

3. Seek Variety As the saying goes Variety is the spice of Life, and boredom is one of the main causes of unfaithfulness. If you keep a lot of variety in your positions and activities, you will never be bored. There are numerous books and videos that can give you new suggestions or be creative and use your imagination. Try having sex in different places of the house or in a bathroom at the gas station, restaurant or some other place that is very exciting for you where you won't get caught. Take a shower with your lover and use your hands as the washrag. Soap them up and explore every inch, nook and cranny of their body. Savor them as if they were a fine a wine. This will elicit erotic, sensual, spiritual and physical energy in both of you and will also serve as a tool to help you learn invaluable information about one another's bodies. Get naked outside and make wild passionate love. I don't believe there is anything more freeing, arousing and spiritual than being naked outside and to make love with the feel of the elements upon your body. It gets you in touch with the primal basics and elicits uninhibited passions. Do things that are unique for you as a couple and you can keep the variety and spice while remaining a monogamous couple. Change your routine.

- a husky laugh - biting your lower lip as you look him in the eyes - the added use of purchased pheromones - padded bras - form fitting outfits

Attracting and seducing men is not as difficult as many of us make it out to be. As women, we naturally send out signals. The key is to know when to send them out and which ones to use. Watch any movie and the woman will show her interest in her man in several ways - meeting his eyes, leaning in to hear what he is saying, licking her lips, crossing her legs, twirling her hair around her finger, etc.. We do this naturally, even unconsciously.

When we allow ourselves these instincts kick in. Women automatically know to cross and uncross their legs, play with their hair, flirt with our eyes. No one took us aside and taught a class on it.

Attracting a man is never as difficult as we make it out to be. You are born with the knowledge of how to give off the right signals. Let go of your shyness, practice and suddenly you will realize how natural flirting and attracting men can be.

So, if you're anything like me, you end up planning your own. Here are a few of your options: 1) A weekend city break in Europe gives you alternative culture, great food and absolutely minimal chances of running into anyone you know whilst doing something embarrassing!

Because of different societal rules, many of our instincts have been suppressed. In certain cultures it is perfectly natural to walk around bare breasted, yet in others you can get arrested for this type of behavior.

4) A day of shopping followed by a few cocktails will always go down well, so maybe heading to the nearest large city for a wide variety of shops and bars could be the answer.

3) Bowling...fun but only when combined with other activities, definitely NOT an entire hen night. 4) A day at a theme park. Ok, it's childish but hey! It's your day and there is no denying the fun! A day of rides and junk food is great for large groups.

The problem with planning for a weekend can be coordinating a convenient time for everyone and of course, summoning the money from everyone in good time to book! So it may be that just an evening would be better. Your choices with that are also endless!

1. Communicate Communication with your lover is the most important factor for not only a satisfying sexual relationship but for a relationship in general. If you do not communicate with your partner you can't be satisfied. Many people falsely believe that their lover can read their mind or that they should instinctively know how to please them. This is a very destructive belief for not only the sex, but also the relationship as a whole. Speak openly, directly and honestly. Be specific. Tell your partner where, when and how to touch you. Describe how much pressure, how much speed and the timing you need. Tell them what, when and how to say what you need to hear etc. Let them know when it feels good and when it doesn't. Good communication involves the expression of feelings. Discuss your feelings, needs, desires, fears, embarrassments, expectations in and out of the bedroom in regard to all aspects of the relationship. Good communication will increase intimacy and greater intimacy will lead to greater sex.

2) A night on the town with good friends can provide loads of fun. However, the downsides are that it isn't something you've never done before, particularly if it's somewhere local to you (which also means any 'final transgressions' are unlikely to go unnoticed...)

Love Is The Drug When a creature is ready for mating, they send out a lot of signals seen and unseen. One of the most effective way of advertising your availability is through scent. Usually this is put out through the creatures urine, glands or even sweat. But what is the chemical message the potential mates are looking for? Pheromones. They are tiny scent cells that trigger the sexual parts of the smellers brain. Human pheromones and sexual attraction are always one right after another.

If you live in the United States, for example, and you want to attract a man you can quite reasonably use: - eye flirtation - the lip lick - crossing and uncrossing your legs

Most of these signals can be used both subtly and effectively in almost any setting. Licking a dollop of whipped cream could be perfectly acceptable in a Starbucks or bookstore cafe. Playing with your hair and looking a man in the eyes would be perfectly natural as you walk out of your favorite salon.

1) A meal with friends. It's nice, it's civilized and you can more or less guarantee a good time... it doesn't exactly scream last hurrah does it!

Your look is a very small part of your whole seduction package. A truly seductive woman has many tools in her arsenal. She knows how to get his interest and to keep it focused on her alone. She knows how to get a man to cross a room just to speak to her, and how to get him to call her that night. Before she leaves her home to go out, she is confident of how the evening will end. Part of this is confidence, gained from living the part of seduction diva, and part of it is the use of visualization techniques.The good news is that all of these techniques can be taught.

10. Be an Oral Connoisseur
Being a skilled oral lover is a very important component of a couple's sexual relationship for both the male and the female. There are few things more pleasurable for either man or woman than to be savored, devoured and satisfied orally by their lover.
It is one of the most intimate gifts we can give one another. Pleasuring your lover orally has become an integral part of lovemaking. One of the great aspects of oral sex is that it can be a part of foreplay or the main course and there are so many ways to explore it. Giving oral pleasure to your lover is an
ultimate act of unselfishness, giving, caring and loving.


Monica Babcock


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